Have you gone on a date with someone you’re not sure about? Maybe he or she seems tuned out or hard to read. Here are the warning signs to look for that may prevent you from wasting time with someone who is not ready for a long-term, loving, committed relationship with you.
1. One-Way Conversations – If someone’s stories are always all about them or the conversation always stems from their point of view, these are signs this person isn’t ready for a soulmate-type relationship and they aren’t interested in you on a deeper level.
2. Shallow Compliments – Your dates’ compliments are about your physical appearance, how you make him feel, or just generic romantic statements. Watch out for the fake romantic story where your date is saying things like “You are the one” and you have only messaged back and forth on a dating app. You can tell it’s fake because the story does not include details about your personality or values. He hasn’t spent enough time with you to really know you on a deeper level and is only projecting his desired reality onto the situation. Your date is using these heavy romantic statements to try to trick your brain (manipulating) into thinking it is love, but true intimacy takes time to develop.
3. Ignoring Your Needs and Wants– What happens when you tell your date you don’t like something he/she is doing? Does he/she throw a tantrum like a two-year-old, play the quiet game, or acknowledge you but does nothing to change or address the situation? “No” is an instruction on how to best love and support you. If someone takes your boundary as a personal attack or threat to their ego, they are not ready for a soulmate-type relationship. This practice will easily weed out toxic individuals and even strengthen the bond between healthy partners. A healthy partner wants to know how to best love and support you.
4. Low Energy – Are you doing all the work in the relationship? Do you plan the dates? Drive to his house for movie night? If you stopped texting him, would the relationship vanish? If your date is not matching the intensity of investment you are putting into the relationship, it’s time to end it.